This morning I am listening to Neil Young Unplugged from MTV in 1993. This leads me to remember that naysayers are just that; people that say Nay. Nothing more respected or expert than that. Just “nay.” What if Neil Young had believed his childhood friend’s mother when she told him he wasn’t a good enough singer to make a living with music? What if Steve Nash had believed experts when they told him he was too scrawny to play in the NBA? Here’s to Neil and Stevie: long may you run!
I learned a quote long ago, “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” It sounds like intentional confusion, but it isn’t. One application is to think about your ability, as a member of an audience, to create a better musical performance. For example, that street performer isn’t the quality of musician that he thinks he is, for he may overestimate or underestimate his talent. Similarly, you may be prepared to dismiss his music by the visual quality of his guitar, or even his wardrobe. However if that busker comes to believe that you are being entertained, and that you are enjoying his music, then he can transform into the entertainer he believes that you believe him to be.
Now granted, there are limits. But who among us hasn’t become a little better behaved in the presence of mom or dad or supportive uncle that truly believes us incapable of being a grumpy, petty person?
I am reminding myself to give it a try. Expect the best of people; treat them as if they are accomplished and excellent. Applaud. Put a (figurative) tip in the imaginary open guitar case. See what happens.
It can be numbingly easy to play it safe. Further, a good analytical mind can always think of 5 reasons to do something, and 5 contrary reasons not to do that same thing. However, to be bold is to take a stand and to let that stance lead to action. I am not resolving to be agressive or pushy… being pushy has to do with imposing one’s viewposts on others. Instead, I am resolving this year to take bold steps more frequently. The old cliche has meaning: you have to stand for something, or you’ll stand for anything at all.
Happy New Year.
Several years ago I was attending a folk music festival in Lyons, Colorado. It was a warm almost hot August day with the stage set up less than 50 yards from a gently flowing river. The view included a Rocky Mountain blue sky, and a few trees moving mildly in the breeze. About 300 of us were lounging on blankets in the sun enjoying the music. A musician whose name I have forgotten stood on stage and looked out at the scene. He took it all in and said “It’s a miraculous day! But.. in fact you know… everyday is a miracle”, he said. “The really odd thing is that you can’t look anywhere, anytime, without seeing a miracle.”
It is so easy to get caught up in the turmoil of traffic and tasks, people and projects, that I can forget that it is all amazing. It’s not my intent to go over the top, or get soft-headed and dreamy. However the t-shirt people do have it right when they say Life is Good. I resolve to notice the miraculous in everyday living.
I have always liked words and dictionaries. These two words have meanings that are sometimes overlooked, so I turned to Wiktionary for some insight.
Encourage: to mentally support; to motivate, give courage, hope or spirit.
Appreciate: 1. (transitive) to be grateful or thankful for.
I appreciate your efforts
2. (transitive) to view as valuable.
You must learn to appreciate time
3. (transitive) to be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect.
To test the power of bees to appreciate color.
4. (transitive) to increase in value.
The value of his portfolio appreciated by 80% over eight years.
I am resolving to remember that a little bit of coaching (if it is critique or comes from being dissatisfied) goes a long way. One year after the performance review, most people can still tell you the suggestions for improvement but have long since forgotten the 5 (or more!) things they were judged to be doing well. Sometimes it just isn’t appropriate to hold back a negative view, but it also shouldn’t be a way of life. I am going to aim for at least 90% encouragement; to make my contacts feel encouragement as a jolt of courage. I am also going to see if I can’t practice all 4 variations of appreciation: I will be grateful for what people do; I will treat them as being valuable people; give them my full attention; and take satisfaction as their value increases over time.
Let’s say you eat out three times a week, maybe once by yourself and twice with your partner. Under that assumption you might spend $65 a week. Multiply by 50 because a couple of weeks you will be visiting your parents, or going to baseball games, or maybe will be under the weather. So you are spending $3250 during the year on these meals. Tipping 15% means you’ll part with $488 during the year but here is the “payoff” (no pun intended): It only costs you an extra $163 dollars to know, deep in your heart, that you are not cheap or miserly and that you understand that it is difficult to provide good service day-in and day-out. Up the ante to 20% and for the entire year you can walk around with a song in your heart and minimal guilt because you aren’t holding back on the waitstaff. It’s a no brainer, plus the math is easier.
Several years ago, a wise mentor observed me taking sole responsibility for something our team was working on. He took me aside after the meeting and said “be responsible, but don’t be more responsible.” I said, “Huh? Say what?” He was patient and shared “You have a responsibility to the University, and to the team – but you are trying to do your part, and then do everyone’s part for them too. It’s fine to be responsible (for your part) but you kill the team when you take over for everyone else.” So resolution number 5 for the New Year is to engage fully to accomplish the responsibilities that my various teams need me to do while providing room for others to do their part also.
During November I wrote a (little) novel as part of the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month.) The goal is to write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. It is like climbing a psychological mountain with only your imagination and your laptop. Those that succeed either do a large amount of planning in advance or write with abandon trading in quality for the needed daily quantity (averaging 1700 words a day will do it.) I ended up with a choppy story entitled One Friend Two Many. It relied heavily on Facebook as a setting and my own fictionalized experiences for content. My point being that it is fiction, but if you knew the author you would see quite a bit of non-fiction therein.
The last two weeks, I have been compulsively drawn to the disappointing and ocassionally depressing story of the (no longer) Secret Life of Tiger Woods. This brings up lots of questions about fact and fiction. How many of the facts that we now have are actually facts? How much of the man’s former life (husband, father, smart cookie, master of PR) are now called into question? And wherever we as persisting golf fans are led in the months ahead, how much of that story (from the PGA, from caddy Steve Williams, from mistresses number 11, 12 and 13) will be factual?
Meanwhile at work we are scrambling to digest what it means when a NYC consulting firm proposes 80 recommendations to our Governing Board, and those recommendations are judged be able to save 25-40 million dollars. Is that estimate a fact? Are the recommendations based in fact or from a desire to win more consulting business or a blend of both? Does our Board have estimates in hand concerning how much money needs to be spent up front to harvest the estimated savings?
All of this makes me ponder that it is useful to take one’s time, to be deliberate, to carefully consider the messenger, the message and the motivation(s).
I sometimes get questions about my experiences and recommendations for Kindle. Here’s the scoop: I like it fine and dandy. I use it for downloaded books, but not for newspapers or magazines. Don’t judge the display by the quick photo here. It is easy to read, and the font size can be adusted to taste. Besides the marketing things you have already heard about, the things I particularly like are:
- Downloading samples of books for free, and this sort of pre-selects at no cost what my next purchases will be.
- When traveling, I don’t have to pre-decide what books I will want to read for the next 7 days.
- I like to electronically highlight the passages I like, and later I can call up the “notes” I made and see all the highlighted passages at once. This is a quick review of all the killer ideas, or wonderful writing, that captured my attention.
- Battery Life is great.
- It interoperates with the IPhone, so that I can do day reading on the PDA during lunch, and then use the normal Kindle at night, with automatic advance of the “pages” so it is all in sync.
- Because all my downloaded books are now in the Kindle’s table of contents, it is easy to remember, and recommend, that recently-read good book (instead of “blanking” on the author’s name, all my 2009 reading is at my fingertips.)
The downers are:
- Can’t loan out a great read, nor can I pass along a stinker to a charity book fair.
- Web access exists but would only be interesting if ALL other options were unavailable.
- Since it is consumer tech, it will soon be made obsolete by a cheaper and cooler device. “You paid $299 for that?!?” Dang.
I have an accountant friend that has calculated an ROI based on lower cost of books over time. For me, it is mostly the form factor, and the indexing/memory that seal the deal.
This afternoon I downloaded an application the says it will keep track of where I spend time on my computer, and then help me set goals to spend more time on the productive sites, and less on the time waster sites. It is called RescueTime. I am curious how it will handle multi-tasking… right now I am hovering over email to see a status report on a troubling problem we are having at Maricopa. I also have a java applet running that keeps track of my Yahoo league in real-time. So, stir in a little blogging, and it’s a good test of the hardware. I’m wondering how it will factor in that I am watching the Bears and the Steelers, and only typing during commercials. (Or maybe I type during the game and watch the commercials!)
I do think it could be a great tool, to advise that I say I want to write that languishing novel… how many minutes have I actually been in MS Word, as compared to, oh let’s say, FarmTown. I’ll post a report in about a week.